Dating advice 7.
When it comes to conversation on dates, I know for a fact lots of guys need help. I have been on so many dates where the guy ruined everything by what was said and how he said it. It was a real turn off. So today I want to share with you what is good and what is bad conversation. If you manage to stick to only the good one, then I can guarantee you will get another date, and maybe something else too...
What you have to remember is: People are selfish and self absorbed. Granted, not everyone are as self absorbed as others, but most people enjoy talking about themselves and what they are passionate about. You guys can use this to your advantage when you are dating. It's important that you get them to relax and start talking. It is much easier answering a questions than just blurting something out, so ask your date different questions about her and her life. Conversation topics on a date is very important, but also how you say it makes a difference. So first I am going to give you some ground rules, how you should act during the conversation.
1. I know i have said this in some of my other posts, but I will say it again seeing how very important it is; Keep eye contact! Do not stare at her breasts or at her legs or at her neck. You want to show her you are interested in what she has to say, not what her body has to offer. Also, it will make her think you're not only after her for sex, maybe you don't even want her that much. And if you don't want her that much, guess what that makes you. Yes, that's right, a challenge. And we all know girls love a challenge.
2. Be polite and don't talk about sex. Yes, it's the same rule on the first date. You're not supposed to talk about sex unless she brings it up. And if she does bring it up, no matter what happens don't talk about all the girls you have had or how much they enjoyed being with you.
3. Smile a lot. If someone smiles at you, the natural response is to smile back. And what happens when you smile? You feel kind of happy. So if you smile at your date, not only do you show that you are a good spirited person who enjoys life and smiles a lot, but you also trigger the smile in her and it will automatically make her feel better and have a good time.
4. Always be honest. If she asks you something you don't really want to answer or something you don't want her to know, don't lie but simply avoid the question. Just smile at her in a way that says: "Wouldn't you want to know" Then you start talking about something else. This way, you seem mysterious and girls love that about guys. They also hate being lied to, that's why you never lie, just avoid.
5. Always keep your attention on her. Make sure you listen to what she says. This way you can ask questions about what she has already mentioned, and she will love that you actually listen to her. It's very important for us girls to know you're paying attention.
6. The last advice on how to behave has to be this: Don't talk too loud, don't make everything about you and make sure you look relaxed and happy. It will assure her and make her feel the same way.
Ok, now you know how to behave on the date. If you want to keep dating the girl, or just have some fun with her, you should follow my advice. Let's get on with the conversation topics. There are several different categories. Let's start off with the conversation primers.
Conversation primers are most often about family, friends, work and your childhood. It's easy questions that will make her relax and loosen up. She will definitively have lots to say to these questions, and that's what you want. If you can make her talk a lot she will enjoy herself and time will seem to fly by. Here are some examples on questions:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have any siblings? Are you close?
- Did you have a happy childhood?
- What is your earliest memory?
- What is your happiest memory?
- What was your favourite toy? Do you still have it?
- What do you do as a living? Do you enjoy it?
- What is your dream profession?
- Do you have a nice boss?
- Do you have a best friend? What is he/she like?
- Are you still close to the friends you had when you were younger?
- Are you close to your family?
- What do you think they say to others when they talk about you?
These are all questions designed to make her open up and feel relaxed. She will probably also ask you some of them back, so just answer the best way you can. Also, make sure this doesn't come out as interrogation. Don't ask her everything at once, give it some time and even if she doesn't ask you questions back, reveal something about yourself to her. It will make her look at you as open and honest.
When your date is relaxed and you want to dig a little deeper, it's time to start with some new questions.
Digging deeper questions will challenge her and make her reveal things about herself without really thinking about it. Here are some examples:
- Have you ever had anyone in your life you considered your mentor? Tell me about him/her
- What was the most embarrassing moment in your life?
- Have you ever wanted to make a major change in your life? What and Why?
- If you only had a week left to live, how would you spend your time?
- What is your favourite season and why?
- Have you ever had a near death experience?
- What is the biggest white lie you have told anyone? What made you tell it?
- Do you often daydream? About what?
- Have you ever experienced a very strong dèjá vu? What happened?
- Do you think there are intelligent beings on other planets?
- What is your favourite board game and why?
You can also have fun with these kinds of questions. You will both probably have some funny stories to tell and at the same time get to know each other better. Girls love to talk and if you are a good conversationalist she will definitively want to keep dating you. There are two more categories; Personal questions and Probing questions. However, I wont address them just yet. It doesn't fit in on a first date.
I hope you guys manage to remember some of this, we really need some better daters out there. Go amaze a girl with your skills, hurry up! Good luck on your first date and just let me know if you need some more help with anything.
Thanks for visiting The Dating Guide for men.
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