Dating Advice
Many guys are unsure of what to do when they first have gotten a girls number after a night out. There are lots of wrong information out there. Some guys calls right away, others wait a couple days, some send an email and some show up at her door. In this post about dating I will tell you exactly what you should do when you are calling a girl you want to start dating, and what we girls think about it.
First of all there is one thing you should know about us girls. We analyze everything. And I do mean everything. Let me give you an example. Let's say you one day ask your date: "Are you sure you don't want dessert?" This question makes all women's head spin. It can either mean you think the girl you are dating are too thin, you think she is fat so you think she is used to having dessert, it can mean you want to stay out longer or that you're not ready to follow her home yet. One innocent comment from you can make your date go crazy into an analyzing frenzy. That's why it's very important that you know how and after how long to approach her after you have met her and secured her number.
The thing you have to know is that every girl is different. I will explain the ground rules to you, but to make it a little easier I will divide it into two categories; the girl who is used to attention and who's got a high self esteem and the insecure girl who almost never gets hit on. Girls who are beautiful often get hit on often and therefore they are very secure, and girls that aren't that attractive often feels more insecure because they're not used to attention. After just a glance, you can easily see who belongs in which categories.
The beautiful, secure girl.
This girl is used to attention, so the first rule here is to make sure you don't seem too eager. This is very important. Sure, we get flattered if you call us the day after you met us, but it makes you seem a bit desperate and you will forever be labelled as the loser who couldn't get anyone else. This might seem a bit harsh, but it's hard to get a girl to start dating you when she thinks she is your only option. With this kind of girl you should try to wait as long as you can, but keep in mind that if you wait too long she might have forgotten you or think you are a bastard for not calling. If you actually got her number, then I suggest you wait about three or four days before you call her. This way she will think about you and wonder when you are going to call, she might even call you first if she has your number (but don't bet on it, it doesn't happen that often with this kind of girl), and she will also know you have a life and that she isn't the only thing on your mind. So play a bit hard to get, just dont overdo it.
The insecure, a bit less attractive girl
Now, with this girl it's a completely different story. She isn't used to getting lots of attention, so if you give her a lot attention you will probably baffle and flatter her. Dating an insecure girl can be a lot of work sometimes, but if you make them feel beautiful and wanted they will always ask for more. If you met this kind of girl and got her number, you should probably call her the next day saying something like: "Hi there. Remember me, we met last night? I know everyone always say you should wait a couple days before calling, but I'm just not into those kinds of games, especially not with a girl as beautiful as you, who knows when you will be taken. Do you want to go out this weekend?" She will feel like the most special girl in the world, and she will tell all her friends about you. This really works for this kind of girl.
Ok, now you know when to call her, but how should you make contact and what should you say?
I always recommend calling at first. Of course, if you only have her mail then you don’t have a choice, but if you get the phone number, use it. If she doesn't answer, leave a message on her answering machine. The important thing to do before you call is to write down what you're going to say. Not exactly, but just so you have an idea and won’t be caught off guard in case of the dreaded answering machine. Since I have already told you what kind of thing you should say to the insecure girl you want to start dating, I will now only tell you what to say to the secure one.
Make sure you don't sound too interested and like you have no plans. You are going for confident and a little busy. When she picks up, say your name and ask her if she remembers meeting you at that bar a couple days ago. If she pretends she doesn't remember you tell her you were the guy she gave her number to last Friday or whenever it was. She should say "Oh, that’s right!" because she doesn't want to seem like the kind of girl who gives her number to everyone. After this you should try to say something funny or charming, but it's not a must. Just make sure that when you ask her out on a date, be casual and don't sound too enthusiastic. If she against all odds turns you down (which she shouldn't if you followed my previous dating advice) you have to take it lightly. Say something like: "Oh, ok, no problem. Maybe some other time then. See you later". This shows her you're don't care that much if she doesn't want to go out, and it will annoy her so much that you don't care more. If this happens you should wait somewhere between 7-14 days before you call again. Ask her if she is ready now, and she will say yes. Her curiosity will demand that she agrees to a date.
She agreed to a date, but you have no idea what to do with her? Read my next post about dating. I will tell you about the perfect first date.
Thank you for visiting The Dating Guide for men.
1 comment:
I like your post, but it seems a little bit too assuming. You definitely make some good points and this is a good general guide for guys who are really rusty at the art of dating.
Some things to consider though, what if the confident girl has multiple suitors? Let's say there's the cute guy at work, the guy her friend wants her to meet, and then you who grabbed her number at a bar or social event. If one follows your advice they could end up left in the dust.
Also, I'm not sure about the idea of having to annoy a woman to get her attention. I think an alternative perspective is that during the dating experience a person may meet many people that aren't potential relationships. A man should strive to be true to his personality & display attractive qualities such as confidence, consideration (e.g. being polite) and charm. If a woman isn't showing interest, don't try and force a relationship by playing games. Move on, there's plenty of good women out there. Looking at it from the perspective that one may have many dates may turn into duds (no sparks, no chemistry), the advice I would add to yours is:
1. Don't try and be someone you're not. You can't keep it up forever, and she'll eventually see through it. You're probably the most comfortable with being yourself anyway and comfort which will likely make you more confident. Women like confidence.
2. If you have to resort to douchebaggery & games (not calling her back, trying to make her jealous, or any other sort of trickery that you wouldn't be proud of if you had to explain it to your mother) then the relationship will probably not be a healthy one. You may get laid, but don't expect a healthy relationship to form.
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