Tuesday 6 January 2009

8. Does she want it?


When you are on that first date or you have just started dating someone, it's hard to tell if the girl is ready for a kiss, much less for something more. So today I will give you some pointers, how to feel them out and actually be sure that they want the same as you.

When you want to kiss her but don't know if she want you to, then you need to feel her out. What you can do is this: Let's say you are having a conversation and you are sitting pretty close. Lean a bit forward and lightly touch her hair, maybe brush it away from her forehead or just grab a small handfull and say "your hair is so soft". If she doesn't seem to mind this then keep playing with her hear, leaning maybe a bit closer. If she still doesn't pull away then it might mean she is ready. Glance down at her lips, and then get eyecontact. Keep it for a couple seconds, maybe in silence. If she still isn't pulling away, lean so close that your mouth is almost touching her, hover for a second then lightly brush your lips over hers. If you want some tips on kissing, or kissing on a first date rather, read on. If not, skip to the next paragraph. Ok, some pointers. The first touch of lips should be very light and tender. After that, you should pull back an inch or two and look her in the eyes. If her eyes are still closed or if she leans in after you she wants more. So you give it to her. Go back in there and do the same thing, kiss her tenderly, use your lips to tease hers and brush them back and forth. If you are feeling bold, use your tongue to tentively sweep it over her upper lips if she seems to like it, try to deepen the kiss just a little. The thing is, if you want to be great at kissing, you should start out slow and work it up to deeper and, sometimes, harder. Don't use your tongue too much, and keep the spit to a minimum. If you do this then you will have mastered the art of kissing. Well almost. More about kissing some other time.

Ok, so now you have one way of finding out if she is ready for more. But what if you aren't talking and it's not that easy. If you for example have walked her to her door and you are unsure wether or not you should kiss her then you can use this technique: Walk her to her door and see what she does. If she doesn't take out the keys right away, but just stands there and looks at you, it's a sign she is waiting for a kiss. What you should do then is lean in a little (yes, we like to lean guys), then hold. If she pulls back she is obviously not ready, but if she leans in... Well then you should lean all the way and kiss her in the way i described above.

If you want to know if she is ready for more, try to pay attention to how she responds to you. Does she pull back if you brush your hand against her thigh? Does her pupils dilate when you caress her neck? Keep paying attention to her and you will get all the answers you need. Let me know if you have any questions, and I will write a post about the body language so you can know all the signs.

Thanks for visiting The Dating Guide for men:)